Tuesday, 28 June 2011

Building bridges

'Build a bridge and then get over it.' I like this saying because I just don't see the point in bearing grudges and dragging up old things that should be long dead and buried - it's kinda like living with scabby old sores that you keep picking off only to make them bleed again when they have nearly healed - all you end up doing is creating an ugly scar. Surely it would be better to put a plaster on your sore and then, once it has healed, just remove it?

If people do wrong by me or my friends, I just distance myself from them as I find that it's much easier to do this than create a negative focus and dwell on it. Life is much nicer when you surround yourself with positives and push the negatives away. So, I just don't understand people who can't let go and who insist on letting things fester and eat away at them - It must make life really horrible to be so focussed on negative emotions. I feel genuine sympathy for those who carry the heavy weight of bitterness on their shoulders and the chains of paranoia around their hearts. It cannot really make for a very cheery existence and God only knows there are enough hurdles in life to face without wasting energy on suspicion, rumour and innuendo.

It also bugs me how easily people think the worst of others. What is with that? And how can a person make a decision on someone else based solely on on what they think that person may or may not have said about them according to a third party or parties? Surely it is better to go to the source and listen to what they have to say and then decide? Everyone has agendas it seems and some people will stop at nothing to advance their own agendas. That is just sad.

Seemingly random as this may be for a blog entry from me (not a horse in sight!), I have been reminded recently of the inability of one particular individual to let go of something and allow herself to move on and this has sparked a revisit to a blog entry from a few years back - I thought I would re-write it in the hope that anyone reading it who is currently bearing a grudge thinks about how this negativity is affecting their everyday life and the way that they treat people or the way that they are perceived by others. In my experience bitter and suspicious people don't make very good friends, which is often a real shame as they inevitably are good people who have allowed bad things in their lives to affect them too deeply.

Life has its hurdles, it's true and we can't all get along but I think it is how you deal with the hurdles that face you and where you focus any negative feelings that helps define you as a person. So, what does this say about you? Me, I am a bit of a live and let live girl. I believe in being honest about my opinions with others but don't believe in intentionally hurting the feelings of others. There are always ways to say and do things that can help negate the hurt or, sometimes, it can be better just to say nothing and keep your feelings to yourself. I am fortunate enough to be living my dream. It's not always easy and there are aspects of the dream that are missing but it's my dream and I am definitely doing everything I can to make the most of it.



  1. So know what you mean Lou! I've been one of those afore mentioned people over the past couple of weeks. hated how it made me feel, so pulled myself together and looked at what it was doing to me and moved on, just like that :)
    - Helen

  2. Good for you Helen. It makes you feel a whole lot lighter too I bet. Imagine bearing a grudge for a decade and letting it get the better of you every single day for all that time. It must just be the pits!!

  3. Marjon (in Waipawa)Tuesday, June 28, 2011

    Good post Louise. I'm getting better as I get older at these things, much happier now to let people live their own lives and I'll get on with mine. Life's too short to spend in the company of constantly negative people, so I like you do the arm's length thing. Sometimes it's worth going into battle, but I make sure I pick the ones that are worth it now - and there aren't many! Thanks goodness :o)

    BTW, congrats with the SuperPony! Lovely to be able to share in the highlights of your dream :o)

  4. Thanks Marjon. 'Pick your battles' is another good saying/mantra as is 'Don't sweat the small stuff' :o)